Last night when reviewing the schedule for today, I realized that there were many holes that needed to be filled because if they were not, one of my guys would get really frustrated. We had a really good day, minus a few glitches. It has been nice though, because over the last few days each of the Supervisors which I interact with regularly have told me independantly of each other how well things seam to be going. It has been nice because I get frustrated and they can see that, but correct me without saying that they are correcting me. Because I fixed the schedule today went about as smoothly as can be expected. There were a few bumps in the road, but all in all, today was nice. There are days like today when I feel that we are making great strides.
Each of them are so unique and over time I am learning each of their personalities. One likes to talk a lot and has a lot of immaginary friends. He asks a lot of questions that one might seam strange, like "What would you do if you woke up and there was a lion out your window?" He also says strange things like "Did you know the Mayor of Omaha is playing footies with the Govonor?" I am sure that to him they make a lot of since. I have to admit, they generally bug me, but today I tried really hard to not let it get to me. The other one, I am learning is very literal. I forget what I said, but it was meant as a joke and when he did not laugh, it dawned at me that he is very literal. Now that I know that, I think that it will be very helpful information.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Patience is not a virtue that I posses easily
Over the last two weeks I have begun to gain a greater since of appreciation for those whom patience comes with ease, because it does not come easily to me. Over the last two weeks I feel that my threshold for patience has increased exponentially, and yet it still has so far to go until I will be satisfied. As if I will ever really be satisfied.
I am now the team lead for two gentleman with special needs and I love them both dearly. Over the last two weeks I have had some great growing experiences as we have all learned to work together and give and take. After a week of fighting with one in particular, Tuesday brought a light hearted day while still working extra hard. It was a great day, and I got to see a fun side of each of the guys, and they in turn got to see a fun side of me. It is frustrating for all of us because we are all trying to figure each other out. After a week of bliss and having them both stay on task, not back talk, and not needing to get supervisors involved, it all came crashing down today when my patience was tested all through the day.
As part of my job duties I have been putting together a schedule of things that need to be completed at certain intervals throughout the day. I took a schedule which had previously been but together and revamped it. I think it looks pretty cool, but still needs a lot of help. It has defiantly been quite a project. I have learned so many things, like neither of them can be given multiple things to keep track of, so giving them instructions such as first do this, then do this does not work very well.
I am now the team lead for two gentleman with special needs and I love them both dearly. Over the last two weeks I have had some great growing experiences as we have all learned to work together and give and take. After a week of fighting with one in particular, Tuesday brought a light hearted day while still working extra hard. It was a great day, and I got to see a fun side of each of the guys, and they in turn got to see a fun side of me. It is frustrating for all of us because we are all trying to figure each other out. After a week of bliss and having them both stay on task, not back talk, and not needing to get supervisors involved, it all came crashing down today when my patience was tested all through the day.
As part of my job duties I have been putting together a schedule of things that need to be completed at certain intervals throughout the day. I took a schedule which had previously been but together and revamped it. I think it looks pretty cool, but still needs a lot of help. It has defiantly been quite a project. I have learned so many things, like neither of them can be given multiple things to keep track of, so giving them instructions such as first do this, then do this does not work very well.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Deviation
I want to deviate from the norm the of the postings here to pay tribute to a past relationship. There is a man who was once in my life for about eight years. Three and a half years ago we went from really good friends to being in a serious relationship. Three years ago this month the man whom I loved and thought that I would marry ended this wonderful relationship. We tried for a year and a half after that to keep some kind of relationship together, after all, loosing a friendship of that proportion would be devistating. We tried for a year and a half to remain friends, in which time I moved two states away. At one point I finally just had to pull the plug. I did, I removed his number, email and every other way that I had to contact this wonderful young man whom I loved so dearly. Why? Because my heart ached every time that we finished a conversation. Each time that we talked I did not want for it to end, and when it did I ached the rest of the day. Time went by and I saw him a year later. It was great to see him. Yes, I still felt joy at seeing him and yes, in a small extent my life still ached, but not nearly like it did a year prior. I was then ready to open myself up once again to talking with him. I tried twice to rekindle this friendship, to which he is not ready. Did it hurt? You bet.
Dear friend,
I am so greatful that I was blessed to have you in my life for the time that I did. Do I still love you? Yes. Do I still ache for you? Yes. I think about you frequently and hope that you are doing well. I think about the many things that we did together over the years and the smiles and laughter that we shared. I think about how I still don't really know what happened and how I wish I did so that I don't do it again. I think about what we each would have to give up if we wanted for a relationship to work. I want for you to know that I think about the many smiles that we shared and how much it pains me that I can not talk to someone that I used to be able to talk about everything with before we dated. In closing, dear friend, I still love you. I still ache for you, it is true. I may sound strong, but I am still so weak. You are the one relationship that I have lost and truly wish could have been saved. Do I think/ wish/ hope that we will get back together some day? Not exactly. But I do think/ wish/ hope that some day we can be friends again.
Missing you,
Me
Also, this is the song I think of when I think of what I am missing.
What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts
What Hurts The Most lyrics
Songwriters: Steele, Jeffrey; Robson, Steve;
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo
Dear friend,
I am so greatful that I was blessed to have you in my life for the time that I did. Do I still love you? Yes. Do I still ache for you? Yes. I think about you frequently and hope that you are doing well. I think about the many things that we did together over the years and the smiles and laughter that we shared. I think about how I still don't really know what happened and how I wish I did so that I don't do it again. I think about what we each would have to give up if we wanted for a relationship to work. I want for you to know that I think about the many smiles that we shared and how much it pains me that I can not talk to someone that I used to be able to talk about everything with before we dated. In closing, dear friend, I still love you. I still ache for you, it is true. I may sound strong, but I am still so weak. You are the one relationship that I have lost and truly wish could have been saved. Do I think/ wish/ hope that we will get back together some day? Not exactly. But I do think/ wish/ hope that some day we can be friends again.
Missing you,
Me
Also, this is the song I think of when I think of what I am missing.
What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts
What Hurts The Most lyrics
Songwriters: Steele, Jeffrey; Robson, Steve;
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo
Friday, January 14, 2011
Over Achiever
I started class this week. It is all kind of exciting in two fold. In the first since, I get to take one of the classes for my potential program as an undergraduate, which, let's face it, not many people do. The other part of the equation is that I am now working in my internship which gives me 9 credits towards graduation with my undergraduate degree, the last nine credits that I need. This is a great opportunity because I get to work as closely as I can without actually having graduated with my MRC (Masters of Rehabilitation Counseling) and as such have also not passed the CRC (Certified Rehabilitation Counseling) test. This opportunity is really an eye opening experience. I am learning so much about myself and how I work best with others. When in class on the first day, the instructor asked if she knew me. I said not yet, but that I was her undergrad. She then called me an over achiever. When I said that I was not yet in the program, but trying to for summer. One of the girls in class said that if I was already in there I should have no problem getting in, after all, I am an over achiever. What they all fail to recognize is that I do worry because of my MAT score. I did retake it, and my score was much better than the first time. The first time I scored in the 20th%, the second time around I got in the 34%, still I need to be in 40% to be pretty much guaranteed. I spoke with my professor the other evening (she happens to be the head of the department) and she said that she will sit on the panel that decides my fate, but that she is only one person. Yes, that is true, but she is also one very influential person. We shall see how everything plays out.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Climb
2.02
3.25
3.06
2.48
The numbers above are very significant to me. They represent where I have come from academically and where I am now.
2.02, what I had when I received my Associate of Arts and transferred to a four year institution.
3.25, the GPA for the most recent term.
3.06 My over all GPA for the last two years.
2.48 This is my over all GPA for every class that I have ever taken. This makes me so proud.
The last few days I have been really stressed about how I was going to preform in the way of grades and GPA. This was a really stressful semester and I knew that I had to preform well. I tried all semester long to keep up and worked very hard. I was working 23 hours a week plus going to school full time. For most this would seam a bit overwhelming, for me however, I tend to preform better in school when working. Strange, I know. About half way through the semester a professor emailed me having noticed that I was in class every day and was performing poorly on each of the exams. They wanted to know what they could do to help and if grades just did not matter to me. I was relieved. I gave some detail of how stressed I seamed to be, and that although I did not want to have points thrown at me, I wanted to earn my grades, after all. He came up with a plan of how those in the class that wanted to earn some of their points back could and I was so appreciative. Another professor went to give me a test back on that I had not preformed well on and my heart sank. They could see the disappointment in my face and told me to meet them at their office, so which I did. We came up with another assignment that I could so which would (if I preformed the average of all of the previous test scores) bring me from a C to a B. I did both of those assignments. I also worried a lot about another class. This was my American Sign Language class. The final project held so much weight that I worried a bit about it. The thing is, two days before I was set to preform my final project, I changed it. I feel that I did better on the changed version than I would have had I stayed with the original plan. I guess it payed off because I did well enough in all of my classes to keep my GPA up. What a relief. Next step... working on my personal statement.
I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me individually and knows what my greatest desires are and what I need. I am grateful that he helped me work with my professors to help me succeed to the best of my abilities. I hope and pray that I can continue to recognize the miracles placed in my life every day. Those seemingly small things that add up and really are huge to me individually. I know that without my Father in Heaven I could not have succeeded this semester.
3.25
3.06
2.48
The numbers above are very significant to me. They represent where I have come from academically and where I am now.
2.02, what I had when I received my Associate of Arts and transferred to a four year institution.
3.25, the GPA for the most recent term.
3.06 My over all GPA for the last two years.
2.48 This is my over all GPA for every class that I have ever taken. This makes me so proud.
The last few days I have been really stressed about how I was going to preform in the way of grades and GPA. This was a really stressful semester and I knew that I had to preform well. I tried all semester long to keep up and worked very hard. I was working 23 hours a week plus going to school full time. For most this would seam a bit overwhelming, for me however, I tend to preform better in school when working. Strange, I know. About half way through the semester a professor emailed me having noticed that I was in class every day and was performing poorly on each of the exams. They wanted to know what they could do to help and if grades just did not matter to me. I was relieved. I gave some detail of how stressed I seamed to be, and that although I did not want to have points thrown at me, I wanted to earn my grades, after all. He came up with a plan of how those in the class that wanted to earn some of their points back could and I was so appreciative. Another professor went to give me a test back on that I had not preformed well on and my heart sank. They could see the disappointment in my face and told me to meet them at their office, so which I did. We came up with another assignment that I could so which would (if I preformed the average of all of the previous test scores) bring me from a C to a B. I did both of those assignments. I also worried a lot about another class. This was my American Sign Language class. The final project held so much weight that I worried a bit about it. The thing is, two days before I was set to preform my final project, I changed it. I feel that I did better on the changed version than I would have had I stayed with the original plan. I guess it payed off because I did well enough in all of my classes to keep my GPA up. What a relief. Next step... working on my personal statement.
I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me individually and knows what my greatest desires are and what I need. I am grateful that he helped me work with my professors to help me succeed to the best of my abilities. I hope and pray that I can continue to recognize the miracles placed in my life every day. Those seemingly small things that add up and really are huge to me individually. I know that without my Father in Heaven I could not have succeeded this semester.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
On my way...
As mentioned before, I don't drive. I was talking with my mom the other day about why I don't drive, and we (I) came to the conclusion that the reason I don't drive is not strictly my fault... but hers. Yup, Moms fault. You see, when I was younger and all of my siblings were learning to drive we lived on a dirt road that they had to drive on before they could drive on the streets. I did not get to drive on that road. Mom says that it is because when I was turning the age to drive we did not have a reliable car, so driving was not much of an option. When I was 16 we moved to the city, meaning that Mom did not want for me to drive on the busy streets.
I feel like there is need for a story to express what made me stop driving once I did convince my mom to let me learn.
One day we were driving along, it was July 4th when I was 20 and we were getting ready to take me to work. My mom did not want for me to drive into my work parking lot because it was not a very nice parking lot. We were driving around and Mom stopped paying attention to my driving and started giving directions. As she did she was saying to pull over onto another street and stop. I soon realized that we were in a cul-de-sac so I pulled around. Mom was still giving me some direction and started telling me to break. She continued break, break, break, that's.... not.... the.... break! As I pressed on the gas. We jumped a curb and landed on a boulder in someones front yard. Not only did we land on the boulder, but the force of the car moved it at least a foot. I was stressed really badly. I was in tears and worrying about how I was going to pay for the car and to fix these peoples front yard, etc. Four young men (according to Mom they were really cute but I did not notice) came over to see if they could see what happened to the car. The owner of the house came out and was really cool about the whole thing. Much more cool than I would have been. The wife then came home laughing. To me it was not that funny. I knew that I was going to be last for work, and so I called and explained that I had been in an accident but that I would be there as soon as I could since I knew that it was the 4th and one of the busiest days of the year. Gratefully they were really understanding and asked if I was ok. I said that physically I was ok, but emotionally I was not sure. The wife was great. She took me to work and they let my mom go inside the house while they waited for the tow-truck. It took the tow-truck driver four hours to move the car. I was really stressed about how I was going to pay for the car and everything. I was freaking out. Gratefully, the owners were gracious enough to not charge me for the front yard. Ironically, they were wanting to move the boulder anyway. I bent the front axle and we had to total out the car. I am so glad that we had AAA, and so I did not have to pay for the towing. It was 104 degrees outside, the poor guy. When I got into work one of the girls asked me if I was the one driving. How did they know? All I said that was I got in an accident. A few weeks later someone came in and asked for me. She gave me some pictures of the accident. I had to laugh that they took the pictures. It made me smile.
About a year later when I was serving a mission for my church I met the man that I would be working under and he really wanted for me to learn to drive. About a month later I was sent home to have surgery and he and his wife really wanted for me to learn, but I really wanted to get back out and work. I never did learn.
When I completed my time there my uncle, who is a really good driver took me out driving and I was doing well, but I was white knuckling the steering wheel. As mentioned, I know that driving is something that I need to do. I figure that the events from six years ago help to explain why I do not drive.
I feel like there is need for a story to express what made me stop driving once I did convince my mom to let me learn.
One day we were driving along, it was July 4th when I was 20 and we were getting ready to take me to work. My mom did not want for me to drive into my work parking lot because it was not a very nice parking lot. We were driving around and Mom stopped paying attention to my driving and started giving directions. As she did she was saying to pull over onto another street and stop. I soon realized that we were in a cul-de-sac so I pulled around. Mom was still giving me some direction and started telling me to break. She continued break, break, break, that's.... not.... the.... break! As I pressed on the gas. We jumped a curb and landed on a boulder in someones front yard. Not only did we land on the boulder, but the force of the car moved it at least a foot. I was stressed really badly. I was in tears and worrying about how I was going to pay for the car and to fix these peoples front yard, etc. Four young men (according to Mom they were really cute but I did not notice) came over to see if they could see what happened to the car. The owner of the house came out and was really cool about the whole thing. Much more cool than I would have been. The wife then came home laughing. To me it was not that funny. I knew that I was going to be last for work, and so I called and explained that I had been in an accident but that I would be there as soon as I could since I knew that it was the 4th and one of the busiest days of the year. Gratefully they were really understanding and asked if I was ok. I said that physically I was ok, but emotionally I was not sure. The wife was great. She took me to work and they let my mom go inside the house while they waited for the tow-truck. It took the tow-truck driver four hours to move the car. I was really stressed about how I was going to pay for the car and everything. I was freaking out. Gratefully, the owners were gracious enough to not charge me for the front yard. Ironically, they were wanting to move the boulder anyway. I bent the front axle and we had to total out the car. I am so glad that we had AAA, and so I did not have to pay for the towing. It was 104 degrees outside, the poor guy. When I got into work one of the girls asked me if I was the one driving. How did they know? All I said that was I got in an accident. A few weeks later someone came in and asked for me. She gave me some pictures of the accident. I had to laugh that they took the pictures. It made me smile.
About a year later when I was serving a mission for my church I met the man that I would be working under and he really wanted for me to learn to drive. About a month later I was sent home to have surgery and he and his wife really wanted for me to learn, but I really wanted to get back out and work. I never did learn.
When I completed my time there my uncle, who is a really good driver took me out driving and I was doing well, but I was white knuckling the steering wheel. As mentioned, I know that driving is something that I need to do. I figure that the events from six years ago help to explain why I do not drive.
It's not all the same... thank you
I hate when people think that every person who has the same disability are the same. Guess what everyone... stop the presses! Not all are created equal. Part of my Dyslexia is that I can not read things associated with certain colors. That does not mean that I am color blnd, because I am not. I can see all of the colors of the rainbow. A co-worker and I were wanting to retape the pricing table at work, and put new prices on as well. The new boss was wanting to do it in red and I protested stating that I could not read red. He then asked if I was colorblind. When I said that it was part of my dyslexia but that I was not colorblind but I just could not read things written in red or on red. Another boss was standing by and mentioned that he was dyslexic but that he did not have that problem. Yes, I explained not everyone has the same thing wrong with them. Arg! Ok everyone, here is the deal... we are not all created equal, just incase you were wondering.
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