Love

Love, according to my friend Webster is defined as : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others.

There is a piece of artwork which I really quite like, and have for years. American Sign Language is my language of choice. Sometimes when I hear people speaking in another language I wish that I had another language, and then I remind myself that I do. I have Sign Language. This piece of artwork is of Christ's hand in the sign for I Love You, showing his palm. I have loved this piece for quite a while, and this last Christmas my parents gave me a copy of that picture in a frame. I have it on a nail in my bedroom, in a place where I can easily see it when I am laying in bed. Many times I have looked at that picture and not thought much of it. I know the symbolism behind it, but until today, it has not had a huge impact on me, at least not the kind of impact that it had today. The last little while have been hard. I was denied Graduate school in March, more and more I feel as though I am missing a very important piece of my life, that of an eternal companion. I yearn for that constant person. To know that there will be someone by my side into the eternities. I have reapplied to graduate school, and today was the day that decisions were made, but I have not heard back yet. I have applied for a few jobs, one I heard back from... they did not want me. That's ok though, I didn't really want them either. With the culmination of everything, I just feel so weighed down. I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom when I laid back and sighed. It was then that I caught a glimpse of the picture, and the meaning behind it. I began to cry. My Savior laid down his life for me. Not just for my sins, but for my pains, my sorrows, my personal struggles. He is there always and he loves me with every fiber of his being. I don't know how, but I know that he has felt the pains of not knowing where ones life is going, even when one feels as though they have done everything that has been asked of them. He knows the pain of wanting something so badly and having to wait, and worrying that the outcome is not what the person wants. He knows what it is like to try and align ones life with the will of the Father. He knows, and he loves me. Each time that I read in 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon when Christ appears to the Lamanites I want to cry. They thrust their hands in his side, they felt the imprints of the nails in is hands and feet. Some times I try to imagine what that must have been like. I do not think that I will ever be able to look at this picture the same again, for it has truly brought on new meaning. The thing about Sign Language is that it is gestural rather than verbal. There are so many layers of symbolism housed in any piece of artwork and I have uncovered just one of the many layers of this one. A layer that holds so much.