Bandwaggon

I love carbs. I would probably be open to marrying carbs if they were a person. I have always had a love affair with them for as long as I can remember. The smell of Dad's bread baking in the oven, raviolis, spaghetti, you name it, I love it. You bring it by me and I will eat it. When my doctor told me that Carb cravings were much like nicotine cravings it brought a whole new meaning to addict. I always joked that I was a carb addict, but I never really thought much of it. She said that the difference between nicotine and carbohydrates is that there really is no way to curb the craving for nicotine, but you just have to fight through it, whereas with a carbohydrate craving you can eat protein. This is when I started eating like a rabbit. The first week I was cranky and grouchy. Again, I am an addict. Perhaps there needs to be a Carbohydrates Anonymous. The second week, after meeting with a dietitian and discovering that I can have all of the vegetables that I want, and all of the apples and other sources of protein that I wanted, I felt better, but was still really careful. I either got up early before heading off to work so that I could make my lunch, or prepared it the night before so that I knew that I had something good and healthy. Generally my lunch and snacks have consisted of: carrots, apple, yogurt, snap peas, grilled chicken on either flat bread or pita bread and sometimes a cracker and cheese lunchable thing as a treat. When, en I came home from work, I would pull out my stash of honey graham bears and have about 5-10 as a treat for doing so well at work. I packed such a good lunch for myself today. I was so happy with it. Today was carrots, broccoli, yellow squash, yogurt, snap peas, some crystal light, a cheese and cracker thing and a little chocolate bar as a treat. My roommate offered me some of her mac and cheese the other day, and I turned her down sighting the pasta. I have felt so good about myself. Enter tonight. I had dinner at a friends house, and I allowed my diet to go take a flying leap out the window. We had roast beef sandwiches (which we put together ourselves, so really I could have left off the bread). As my teeth sunk deep into the fluffy white bread goodness I proclaimed "Why hello bread, oh how I have missed you." To which my roommate gave me a look and a sound and I quickly defended with the protest, "But I have protein. See!" As I pointed to the roast beef. Oh, so the bread was a bad choice, especially for a carb addict such as myself. I know what you are thinking, "That cannot be all, what a lame ending." Of course that is not all. Do you really think that I would leave you hanging like that? So we had the choice between water (which I have had virtually every meal besides when I have chocolate soy milk for the last two weeks) or this amazingly sweet Japanese lemon water concoction. Take my word for it, AMAZING. Of course I could not stop at one or two, no I had three cups of it. Yup, three. Just when I was starting to realize that I had really done it, they came around with desert. Who wants to be the lone ranger and not have desert? Hello? I reached in and grabbed for a strawberry Minute Made frozen desert, and it was good, but not as good as I had hoped. I had a hard time enjoying it. Probably because I had just had a discussion with another friend sitting at the table about how I need to be careful with what I eat and why..... They came around and offered seconds on desert, to which I resisted the urge. Did I mention that on the way home from work I stopped and got a frozen yogurt (which was amazing) and had another chocolate when I got home. Yes, today I fell off the bandwagon. I feel like I am living in those cartoons when there is a good angel and a bad angel over each shoulder. I know that I need to do it for my health. I know that it will be hard, but I also know that I can break through it. It just may be a bit longer before I can bake bread or treats again, because I know that I will gobble them all up. The funny thing is, the last week I can't remember ever being covetous of my coworkers lunches. I have been blessed to be happy with what I packed. My carrots and apple. Jamie: almost 2 weeks, addiction: 1 day.

Seeing as it is nearly midnight at this writing, I cannot help but think of one of my favorite movie quotes, which I am sure actually is from another source: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That is why they call it the present."-- Kung Fu Panda