Job

I found a job posting today that is just exactly right up my ally. Besides missing a few of the qualities that they wanted, I thought that I would give it a shot and send them an email outlining what I can bring to the company with my awesome resume attached. I hope that I get a call back. Keep me in your prayers!

An octopus and a porcupine

In any given relationship I have about a three month window (give or take, but mostly spot on) before I push people away. Few relationships have stood the test of time, and for those who have stood by me I am very grateful. I can not pin down a time or a reason for this, but it happens and it is quite annoying. At about two months I suck whomever it is in very close like one might imagine an octopus doing, and then, at just about three months as if some one flipped a switch I push whomever it is away. I very nearly lost a good friend about a year ago because of my magical ability to transform into a porcupine. It is as if I realize or rather rationalize that I am suffocating whomever it is, and they probably do not like that and so I introduce the other approach and push them away. It was not until last year that my doctor and I really put two and two together and realized that I have anxiety. It is hard. Very hard. I know that it has to be hard on those that care about me, but it is also very hard on me. Last night, as I was contumplating a friendship that I have, I began to feel my chest tightening, my breathing getting harder and tears about to come. This was the moment when I realized that the inevitable cycle was about to rear its ugly little head. It took somewhere between 30 to 60 minutes for me to calm myself down. It is a very eye opening experience for me. I finally recognized what was happening, as it was happening. I do not explain to very many people what happens. Usually I wait until I have already blown things rediculously out of proportion and the person does not want to deal with me, and many times it is too late to resussitate a relationship that given normal circumstances could have blossomed into a beautiful relationship. The jury is out as to if I will tell the friend that this was happening over about it or not. Perhaps I will wait it out and work on my own, hoping that I can circumvent this ever present problem. The other part of me wants to make them know, so that when I do turn into a porcupine they do not feel blind sided. Certainly something to think about.
PS. I did chose to tell them. It seams to be easier to tell people the more I say it. It was not the ideal place or time, but I made it known. At least now they know before it becomes an issue rather than after.

Public recognition

I am not one to seek out public recognition, but I do like personal recognition with the best of them. Today in our team meeting we were discussing being on time, working hard and dedication. My boss then mentioned the night that I worked a full shift while ridiculously sick and how impressed he was with that. He said that if someone were to call him asking for a refrence he would hapily tell them that I have dedicaiton and then brag as much as they would listin. I thought that was cool that he mentioned that.

Selling oneself short

Yesterday in a meeting with my boss and three other people we were reviewing my resume and my profile on an employment search engine. All four of the other people involved in the meeting told me that I was selling myself short. Each of them told me that I need to redo my resume and profile. I grumbled about it, but ultimately redid my resume. I am so excited about the new one. I sound AMAZING now. I would want to hire me. I am so excited to show them the newer markedly better version of myself.

Help

On a consistant basis I toss shoes around and into large bags, then stack the bags, cyran wrap them then put a wire around it. Yes, I am constatnly lifting and throwing around a lot of weight. In an effort to help save my neck and head my boss noticed that I was about to tie off one of the bags and told me not to lift the bag by myself. I placed my hands on my hips and said that I could do it. "Ok," he said "but I am just trying to save you." By the time that I looked away and then looked back he had moved the bag for me. Yup, that is the kind of boss that I work with.

Translating

Every Friday we have a whole store meeting, which some times admittedly is fun. As previously mentioned I work with a deaf gentleman and his translator was late (again) to which my coworkers asked if I could translate for him. Needless to say, I was relieved when she showed. Following the meeting the gentleman, his translator and I were talking and I was signing and talking simultaneously which lead to her asking how long I have signed and how many semesters I have taken. She then said that she would not be there next Friday, and asked if I would translate for her, then asked him if that would be OK. Yup, I am translating next Friday and am scared to death.

Pen, Ink, Computer

As previously mentioned I have a pen that does everything except for brush my teeth. In fact, you can find it at http://www.livescribe.com/en-us/smartpen/pulse/ it is most amazing. It does use a battery which is charged by plugging it into the wall or computer. Because it is used to record test as well as audio, the battery life can get me through about a week of school, and then I sometimes forget to charge it. Yikes. Thus was the case this last week. Also, I use this pen virtually exclusively and so with the battery dead and then the ink ran out this week I was at a loss. A tornado came through my room which came about specifically because not only did my battery run out, but so did my ink and I was unable to locate the refills. My poor roommate. I am never home to complete the cleaning of my room. I have since bought refills and plugged my pen in so that it is ready to go for this week. As if it were not bad enough that my pen died this week so did my computer battery and I have been home so scarely this week that finding time to plug it in has been near impossible. I finally have my computer all charged so all electronics are good to go for the week... provided my ipod does not die this week.