Birthdays- A reflection

As I sit on the train preparing to depart from Penn Station in NYC on my first solo excursion into this great city and back to Philadelphia on this, my 31st birthday I am reflecting back on past several years of birthday celebrations. I have a closely held tradition of doing something for me to celebrate this day. I don't need to have others celebrate with me (although it does tend to be great when they do) . I don't need to spend a lot of money either. The stipulation is simply that it be something that I want to do. This tradition began over 10 years ago on my 19th birthday so I shall begin there.


19: Museum of tolerance in California
20:Unknown, no tradition yet
21: Two upper wisdom teeth extraction
22: Gallbladder removal
23: A belated birthday dinner with a special young man
24: Unknown- I didn't know that I had a tradition yet
25: Weekend away in Chicago
26: listening to a lecture by a former Neo-Nazi
27: Bumper cars
28: Failed attempt at going to the gun range, bowling instead
29: Museum of History and Industry (MOHAI)
30: Helicopter tour of Seattle the day that I was offered a job across the country and subsequent move.
31:  Visiting the zoo, surprise birthday party with a select group of gals, first solo trip to NYC and a trip to Boston.

To say that many of these celebratory events have been indicative of where I was in that point of my life is an interesting and all too real notation. Not only that, but many of these events have marked significant growing experiences for me. I wish to review several of these and share where I was at that time and/or how it has shaped me into who I am now.

20: I didn't know it then, but visiting the Museum of Tolerance museum would have a profound impact on me into adulthood. I find myself more and more curious about history, and not the King Tut variety, but the U.S. history and subsequently what is happening around the world. It has made me thrive to learn what I can through first person accounts of life is like for minorities and particularly women around the world and really in our own back yard.

21: As a young woman of the LDS (colloquially known as Mormon) faith, I was at the magical age of 21, and having chosen to serve a mission I was taking care of some necessary medical things, one of which was the unfortunate extraction of my upper two wisdom teeth. I wasn't very happy about, and may have told my dentist that I did not like him very much in that moment. I was fortunate at that time in my life to have a job that gave me health insurance and the ability to pay for my own medical care. I had those extracted and I was on my way to getting my call to serve in the Illinois Chicago North Mission, which arrived the Monday following Thanksgiving.

22: I was blessed to serve under two mission presidents: one I loved, the other adored. It was under the second that I found myself ill at 3am on a Wednesday morning in late September. We tried many remedies and after a visit to the doctor and an ultra-sound it was determined that the cause of my troubles came from my gallbladder, necessitating removal. I was sent home to California to have my surgery, recover and return. It is not as thou I tried to have each of these surgeries on birthdays, it just happened to be when they were available. I was able to fly home, have my surgery and return to full time missionary service in Chicago in less than one month. It was a hard month, and one full of reflection, but not one that looking back now I would trade. I was given a rare opportunity to literally look at how I was serving God and what I was giving of myself 9 months into the prescribed 18 months.

25: Three years after returning to California and ending my full time missionary service I was at school in Logan, Utah attending Utah State University (Go Aggies). The school gave us a long weekend that fell immediately following my birthday. I felt that this necessitated a get away weekend. I was in touch with a very special woman in my life, who I taught as a missionary. She told me to get out to Chicago and I could stay with her and her family, whom I had grown to love. It was a wonderful weekend, a time of reflection and a time to see where I was in my life.

26: Remember when I noted that the events of my 19th birthday had a profound impact on my life as an adult? Here is another example of that. While at Utah State University I was fortunate to be able to hear a lecturer on campus who was a former Neo-Nazi and, in fact had provided the Museum of Tolerance in California with much of the information that they had on that population. What a thing to be able to see!

30: I had just graduated with my Masters degree from Western Washington University a month prior and wanted to do something to really celebrate. It was decided that a helicopter tour of Seattle, my home for the previous three years, was the perfect thing to do in celebration. Who would have known when I made the reservations that the morning of our flight I would get news that would change my life forever. It was that morning, while my sister was at work that I got a call offering me a job that I had interviewed for and accepted it. This job was to take me clear across the country to Philadelphia and this was to be the last great excursion for the two of us as sisters. I moved just four short weeks later, just days after she returned from a trip of a lifetime to Nepal. I had as smooth of a transition as one could have when moving clear across the country. I wound up with amazing roommates, a great church community, and good solid supportive co-workers. What more could a girl ask for?

31: Am I really 31 now? The last year has been full of all sorts of traveling, growing, stretching to when I thought I might break and yet haven't. In the last year I have moved across the country, gained some amazing friends, got involved with tutoring 11-13 year old young men. They make me smile, they make me laugh, and sometime I even cry for them. I knew when I moved out here that this is where I needed to be and I have embraced it! The one thing that I had not done yet was a solo trip to NYC, which I was finally able to do today, on this, my 31st birthday. This trip was, for me, a show of independence. A show of my ability to venture out without someone next to me holding my hand. I was talking with a roommate recently about the fact that I love that I can pick up and move across the country and assimilate well into my new surroundings. I think that my roommates might have my head if I were to lack mentioning my very first surprise birthday party that they were able to pull off for me. It was perfect, and so me. Just a few (8) special guests and a round of chatting with each other. In a few short day I will round out my birthday celebrations by spending a few days in Boston at a Young Single Adult conference and an extra almost two days playing tourist.

I would be remiss if I neglected to mention the many birthdays prior to those mentioned. For 10 years I was entrenched in the Native American community and culture,of which I still hold very dear. Each year on the first weekend on October we attended, and I competed in the Chukchansi Pow-Wow in Coarsegold, California. I do not remember specific ages of events but I do remember events none the less. It is there that I had my coming out ceremony. As in many cultures it is a special time for a young person. This is the time that they are introduced to the community as a full dancer. It is a time of celebration of not only the dancer, but all those who have assisted them in getting to the place that they are. The Arena Director  (aka, the head dude in charge) JR Manuel (are you impressed that I still remember his name? I am) directed me to dance solo once around the arena and the my family and others joined behind me after I had made my first round. I was so scared. At the end of this I was now able to be accepted into any arena in the United States and Canada as a full dancer. It was also that year that I was gifted two baby owl wings by a family friend, Cherokee. In the tradition of at least one of my tribes it is.In the tradition of at least on of my tribes it is viewed as a messenger I'd good things, however, in many tribes, and certainly those that in was dancing with it is seen as a messenger of death, there for in all my years of dancing I was never able to use them. Another year I met a wonderful young woman and her grandmother who knew an Iroquois when they saw one. They took me under their wing that weekend and taught me a few traditions from my tribe. I still hole these memories close. Although I am no longer entrenched in the community, I still remember the growth that I went through over the course of those 10 years.

As you can see, each one of these celebratory events has had a lasting impact on me. I love my tradition and it gives me time to reflect on where I am and where I'm heading in the coming year.

Here is to a great 31. Cheers!

Northwest Symposium

Because I was unable to facebook about this last week and all of the amazing things that I was able to experience, I figured that I would blog about it instead. I had the pleasure of spending September 9,10, and 11 in Portland attending the biennial Northwest Symposium on Rehabilitation and Deafness. It was spectacular in so many ways. This conference was accessible to anyone who wanted to attend. First of all, it was free, allowing a college student from Seattle to make the way down and take advantage of all that was there. Secondly there were no less than six interpreters working at any one time, working as voice interpreters as well as signed interpreters. There were also no less than four tactile interpreters for those were are deaf-blind, at least three up close interpreters for those who could not see far enough to see the main interpreters, CART was also available in all sessions, FM transmitters as well as a text to braille for a woman who was deaf-blind. There were two service animals present and several personal attendants. I never once felt left out because there was always someone who could help me communicate with other attendees or presenters. 

As a student in a Rehabilitation Counseling program I never felt left out, even when I was embarrassed by my lack of sign language skills. I never felt like I was not supposed to be there. In fact, I felt encouraged to learn and grow from those around me. I met so many great people who were able to share valuable information.

The presenters were some of the best that I have ever heard from. Now, this is my first professional conference that I have ever been able to attend, but I hope that I get this feeling at every conference that I attend. The first presenter that stands out is a woman named Haben Girma. You can see her and learn more about her at http://www.habengirma.com and you will want to once you know more about her. She was the first deaf-blind student at Harvard Law School. The university was willing and able to assist her with all of the accommodations but one that she asked for. The one that they were not able to provide was because it is not a technology that is available right now. She also recently sat for the Bar exam and is awaiting her scores. She travels around the world speaking about her experience being deaf-blind and what people can do assist those who are deaf-blind be independent.

Brad Ingrao, an Audiologist and Jackie Woodside, a motivational speaker from Massachusetts both hearing, but chose to sign their speeches that I attended.  Brad shared that he adopted a five-year-old deaf boy whom he chose to not get a cochlear implant for him. His son is now 23 years old and heavily involved in the deaf community. After the conference, he shared with me his journey of getting education for his son. Jackie was fantastic. She shared how changing our wording to “I am being productive” vs. “I am busy” can change how we feel and lessen the stress that we feel in our life.

I learned so many great things this week and I enjoyed my time in Portland, even if I did not explore it as much as I could have. I learned several new signs and was able to practice my sign language. On top of everything, two organizations tried to poach me. The Oregon Vocational Rehabilitation Services said that they have money for stipend for practicum/interns for 2014. The other one that tried to poach me was the California Vocational Services for after I graduate. Through my sloppy signing we chatted and he tried to get me to come work for him once I graduate. I have to admit, it feels great to have people wanting me.

I also learned that there are several other conferences going on in recent times. There is another free conference in October for three days hosted by the Native American Rehabilitation Association in Portland that I might attend. According to my sources, it is a great training on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). I am excited to go to Tacoma for another conference in the near future.

What's in a name?

I got to thinking today about the name and purpose of my blog. Fighting Against the Norm. When I was starting this blog, I had recently finished a course which required deep reflection on some of life's great adventures, at least it seemed that way for me; my entire first 13 years of school. I really planned to focus on being the best advocate this country has ever seen for people with learning disabilities, because, well, that is where I was and what I thought defined me. When I started this blog, the first thing that I thought of, was to call it Seeing Backwards, because I see things from a different angle sometimes than others, especially when it comes to reading.
I have come to realize that everything in my life is viewed from a slightly different angle, and, it is not that I am purposefully being different, it is that that is just how I view things. In retrospect, I am glad that I went with Fighting Against the Norm because I am able to discuss what that means to me in several different ways. I still plan to write about being a student with a learning disability (or two) but also life in general.

Long time, no post

Hey all! Long time no posts, I know.
So, just what have I been up to over the last year and a half?

• I graduated with my Undergraduate degree. The ceremonies were awesome. My folks and sister came to see me accomplish one of my great goals for my life. 
• A few months later I relocated to be near my sister, and to get residency with the hope of being accepted to a graduate program in my new home state, since I managed to get denied twice from my program of choice.
• Found a great full-time position that was set to be just a few months and wound up being seven months. I loved it, and I loved the company. When I left I really wanted to find a permanent position there.
• In April I applied for the Rehabilitation Counseling program at the local university and was accepted (Hallelujah).
• In June I was informed that I had been accepted as a full-time student for the program and was so excited. I also applied for the RSA Scholarship, which covers tuition.
• In early July I was awarded the scholarship that I was hoping to get. 
•  I applied for residency and as school was fast approaching I still did not know in mid-september if I had residency, but decided to move forward anyway. 
• The day before orientation I found out that I had been granted residency for my new state. 
• Early October I started my first quarter of Graduate School. It was hard work, but I made it. There were many tears and fears of failing, but thanks to an incredibly understanding professor I was able to successfully complete my first quarter and am ready to take on the next!

Great desires of the heart

I believe that everyone has great desires in their heart. I was talking with a coworker today about life and choices and how things go in life sometimes. I mentioned that I turn 27 this year. In the whole scheme of things, 27 is not that old. Truly, it is not. That said, I watch as people that I have known for years, or for a semester or two get married, which is one of the great desires of my heart. I feel like I have done everything that I have wanted to, and everything that has been asked of me. I have graduated from school, I have gone on a mission, I have gained a great relationship with my family, and yet I have not gotten the one thing that can make me eternally happy, that of a companion. At 18 there was no way that I could have married. By 23 it was looking in that direction, that I could marry and be happy. 23 has come and gone and now, four months out from my 27th birthday I feel truly ready. When will my day come?

Decision day

Today was the day that decisions were made in regards to graduate school entrance. I have been obsessively checking online all day long, and the results are not posted. I was talking with a boss who is also trying to get into the same program as I am at one point today. He said to me, :Jamie, just put it aside and wait until Monday. We probably wont hear anything until then." I then repeated to him a family saying: "Patience is a virtue, posses it if you can. Seldom found in women, and never in a man." Then there is my personal favorite: "Patience is a virtue which I do not have time for." I was talking with another boss and I was expressing frustrations about how my life is really up in the air right now while I wait for information about school and this job that I really want. She said to keep moving foreword and that something will drop soon enough. So comforting, thanks.

Love

Love, according to my friend Webster is defined as : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others.

There is a piece of artwork which I really quite like, and have for years. American Sign Language is my language of choice. Sometimes when I hear people speaking in another language I wish that I had another language, and then I remind myself that I do. I have Sign Language. This piece of artwork is of Christ's hand in the sign for I Love You, showing his palm. I have loved this piece for quite a while, and this last Christmas my parents gave me a copy of that picture in a frame. I have it on a nail in my bedroom, in a place where I can easily see it when I am laying in bed. Many times I have looked at that picture and not thought much of it. I know the symbolism behind it, but until today, it has not had a huge impact on me, at least not the kind of impact that it had today. The last little while have been hard. I was denied Graduate school in March, more and more I feel as though I am missing a very important piece of my life, that of an eternal companion. I yearn for that constant person. To know that there will be someone by my side into the eternities. I have reapplied to graduate school, and today was the day that decisions were made, but I have not heard back yet. I have applied for a few jobs, one I heard back from... they did not want me. That's ok though, I didn't really want them either. With the culmination of everything, I just feel so weighed down. I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom when I laid back and sighed. It was then that I caught a glimpse of the picture, and the meaning behind it. I began to cry. My Savior laid down his life for me. Not just for my sins, but for my pains, my sorrows, my personal struggles. He is there always and he loves me with every fiber of his being. I don't know how, but I know that he has felt the pains of not knowing where ones life is going, even when one feels as though they have done everything that has been asked of them. He knows the pain of wanting something so badly and having to wait, and worrying that the outcome is not what the person wants. He knows what it is like to try and align ones life with the will of the Father. He knows, and he loves me. Each time that I read in 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon when Christ appears to the Lamanites I want to cry. They thrust their hands in his side, they felt the imprints of the nails in is hands and feet. Some times I try to imagine what that must have been like. I do not think that I will ever be able to look at this picture the same again, for it has truly brought on new meaning. The thing about Sign Language is that it is gestural rather than verbal. There are so many layers of symbolism housed in any piece of artwork and I have uncovered just one of the many layers of this one. A layer that holds so much.